Hello. Things have been blah. I feel bad always being negative about everything but lately its really hard to stay positive. I gained ten pounds from binge eating so much, I ran into another car, I am danceing horribly. I feel like i am being lazy in dance like not trying as hard as i could. I am just so angry at myself, I skipped two classes. I am just doing so many things wrong and I hate myself. I am again just sitting by myself in the library. I feel like I am just so bored all day, i don't say much and the things we do in class are usually so pointless. I need to get back into loving exercize and not getting so stressed out about being perfect and pushing myself to the limit. I want to literally cry right now. I feel like i am a failure at everything. I just want to lose weight, be an amazing dancer and move to new york city. At this point its hard to even fake to the few people that do talk to me that I'm not sad. I literally have nothing to say at this point and i want everything how it used to be when i had a best friend and where i weighed 125 lbs. I want to be as determined as i used to be and as hopeful and was happiest i have been in a long time. But ofcoarse when things begin to go right, everything just fell apart all at once. I feel tierd. Tierd of everything in my life, for having such a privleged life why am i so unhappy? I know its all a mindset thing, but its really hard for me to change the way i think. I guess to end this negative post i will do what i always do and clear my mind, remember my love for dance, push all the crap bothering me behind me, and remember why i am here. I need to just restart, and be positive. GAHHHHH.