Sunday, March 18, 2012

A blog to my dance team.

In the beginning of the year we started a lot bigger than we currently. It's funny because losing those amazing dancers hasnt really affected me as much as the rest of you all, I guess I just know what people dissapointing me and leaving me is like and I always prepare for the worst. Regardless of who stays an who goes, something that hasnt left any of us is the passion and love or dance. If you read the couple of blogs I have about dance on here you would know dance is everything to me and I'm so thankful to have seven of you to share this passion with. Like I said a couple of weeks ago dance has never given up on me, when I was in the lowest and darkest point of my life when all I wanted was to die, I believe dance saved me. As cheesy as this sounds, it's so true. My family gave up on me, my friends co tuned to leave me, I gave up on myself but being part of a team got me up off my but and gave me a reason to continue living each day. Things have improved immensely since then, although I still struggle with a lot of self esteem, anxiety, some sadness, and binge eating I can not explained how lucky I am. How lucky I am to have a house to live in, a working body, a healthy body, a dance studio that took me back, 7 of you that accept me and support me, and just for so much we don't always think about. Yes life is full of these challenges but dance reminds me that there is something to work for, something that makes me feel good no matter what and that it won't leave or dissapoint me like people constantly do. Its hard for me to express how much you all mean to me directly to you, but you all mean the world to me. I just want to thank each and every one f you for not giving up on me when I gave up on myself and thanks so much for not letting the leaving of others get us down. I've learned people will continue to let you down, but as long as we are still danceing, no one can stop what happens on stage. Wether the best people leave the others will rise up and continue on danceing stronger. I'm kind of just babbling but I hope you all realize what we have accomplished this year
And that I am so happy I stuck out last year and didn't lose that one but of hope I had left in life. If I didn't have all of you or dance I don't know where I would be. Amazingly the year is not over and we have so much more time to improve and I want to make a pact we will keep pushing each other until we can't push anymore. We have done these dances a lot but rather than be bored an comfortable with them, remember how many girls would kill to be able to preform as much as we do and that all that should matter is we are danceing, who cares if it's the same steps we have done for years it's still danceing and it will feel good no matter what.

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